Category: Reflections
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Another Year Wiser (and Still Healing)
Today is my birthday. And instead of making a list of accomplishments or pretending I have it all figured out, I’m choosing something different this year: gentleness. For a long time, birthdays felt complicated. They were milestones that came with quiet pressure—Shouldn’t I be further along by now? More healed? More confident? More “together”?Somewhere along… Read more
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Healing Is More Than Naming the Wound
For a long time, I thought healing meant being able to name what hurt me. If I could identify the trauma…If I could explain the patterns…If I could trace the behaviors back to their origin… Then surely, I was healing. But these past few months have gently — and honestly — shown me that awareness… Read more
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There’s No Such Thing as a Perfect Victim
So many of us look back on the things we did while we were just trying to survive and feel shame instead of grace. Lately, I’ve been very aware of my own imperfections—my own sin, my own shortcomings. And it’s made me think about how relentlessly hard we are on ourselves as survivors. But survival… Read more
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My First Toxic Relationship Was A Childhood Friend
Loyalty and Codependency When people talk about toxic relationships, they usually mean romantic ones. But my first experience of relational harm came much earlier — through my childhood best friend. We’ll call her Lizzy. We met in elementary school. Lizzy was confident, magnetic, and naturally in charge. Being close to her made me feel chosen.… Read more
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Living with C-PTSD: Hope with an Ever-Present God
The Long Shadow of Trauma I once worked with a young woman only slightly older than me. She was vibrant—quick to smile, creatively expressive, and always wrapped in bright colors, wearing a nose ring like my own. When our company hired her, it was her confidence and initiative that stood out. There was a boldness… Read more
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Only God Can Reach a Man’s Quiet Hurt
Unspoken Pain, Unseen Battles – There’s a moment every survivor knows — the first time you say out loud what happened to you. It feels like holding broken glass in your hands. You want to speak, but the words tremble, then crack, and then suddenly everything you’ve been containing breaks open. The story spills out… Read more
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Inside a High-Control “Bible Study”: Learning to Discern God’s Voice
When Bible Study Becomes a Threat About a month ago, I joined an online Bible study with a friend. It started simple. A Zoom link, a few encouraging messages, and the promise of deeper community and accountability. I didn’t think much of it. I love digging into Scripture with others, especially those who are passionate… Read more
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Late-Night Lesson in the Freezer Aisle: A Journey Toward Self-Trust
A Small Moment, A Big Shift— Recently, I was at the grocery store with my man on a late-night ice cream run. I grabbed a pint of chocolate cookies and cream while he browsed a few feet away. Then I spotted those chocolate-covered ice cream bars — you know, the kind on a stick. I… Read more
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The Touch That Made Me Stay: Overcoming Shame
Not Just the Hurt, But the Undoing— This part is hard to talk about. Not just because of what “Aaron” did — but because of what I let happen.What I accepted.What I excused.What I even defended. There were days — weeks — when he didn’t touch me, didn’t speak unless it was with sharpness. Especially… Read more
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I Was Chasing False Rainbows: When Peace Isn’t What It Seems
The “Reconciliation” Phase (sometimes called the “honeymoon phase”) is when the abuser attempts to repair the damage—not through accountability, but through charm, affection, or excuses. It’s the emotional reset that keeps the cycle of abuse in motion. An Abuser’s False Promises vs. God’s True Ones The other day, it rained — a rare event in… Read more